DAY 13: "My Commitment History"

ENGAGING THOUGHT

Growing up we had a Rec-room with a pool table in our basement.  During the Winter months my friends and I would play for hours on end and we actually got pretty good for a bunch of kids.  I like to think I was the best out of all of them (after all, it was my table, I had the advantage, right?), but, truthfully, we were probably equals.  Except for Doug.  Doug won almost every game he played, it seemed.  It was frustrating, really, because even as a bunch of punk-kids, the rest of us realized that Doug wasn't the best player out of us all - he was the luckiest.  In fact, I could (with integrity) say that Doug never beat me playing pool, but he always won.  That alone would mean something...had we not kept a tally of wins and losses.  But we did.  Little hash-marks on a piece of paper tacked to the wall.  Each of our names with wins marked underneath.  No explanations; no excuses; no extenuating circumstances.  Just marks.

Let's imagine there's a little piece of paper somewhere that has your name on it and underneath is a space for hash-marks indicating all the times you "won" - only not the games that you've won.  This one records your accomplishments,  your goals, your hopes and your dreams.  It's a record of the things you started and finished.  Is that a piece of paper you'd like to see?  Perhaps it's a piece of paper you'd like to see...tossed into the fireplace!  I'm not trying to dredge up past failures, however, it would be foolishly naive of us to think that our history of following through on commitments won't come to play somehow in the pursuit of God's DREAM.

Some people seem to be naturally inclined to successfully follow through on everything they attempt - like they have the golden touch.  Others seem to have the opposite - everything they touch turns to dust and ashes.  Most of us probably fall somewhere in between - some successes and some failures.  A friend of mine once worked for a firm that did financial advising and he got to meet more than his fair-share of people on the brink of or in the throes of financial failure.  He says it was heart-wrenching work helping people navigate through a mine-field of their own choices and consequences.  One of his favorite statements to people, especially those who were facing total insolvency or bankruptcy, that brought healing to their heart and mind (didn't change the mathematics of their situation any) was this: Failure is an event, not a person. 

I don't know what's on your imaginary record of wins, but I can imagine that some of you need to read that statement out loud to yourselves over and over again until it sinks in deep.  Failure is an event, not a person.  So you failed at something - maybe even lots of somethings - maybe even really big somethings.  Do those failures define who you are as a person?  Is a collection of failed attempts who you really are?  I doubt that very much.  I also know that God has a DREAM for your life - and no amount of failed attempts changes that fact.  You can learn from your commitment history, notice the weak-spots or the patterns, and be smarter this time around.

For some this may be a moment to grow up.  At the Olympics there is no room on the podium for "Those-who-could-have-won-if-only-so-and-so-wasn't-such-a-selfish-jerk."  They don't give medals to excuse-makers.  Or victims.  I'm not being mean or cruel - I'm being frank and honest.  Some people are truly the victims of a horrible circumstance or a frightening injustice - and they rise above those circumstances to move forward in their lives.  Some choose to remain as victims, blaming whatever or whoever for all their failures.  Not for a second am I diminishing the hurt and pain some endure, either through the consequences of their own choices or the unjust choices of others.  Perhaps my friends statement from above, modified a bit, is just as true: Victimization is an event, not a person.

Many years ago I read an advice column in the newspaper and the columnist responded to an enquirer who asked for the definition of maturity.  The columnist's answer resonates with me to this day, and I think it has tremendous impact upon how we choose to move forward in the pursuit of God's DREAM for our lives.  

"Maturity means no longer making excuses for the things one must do, and no longer doing the things for which one must make excuses."

ACTION STEP

Today's ACTION STEP might be a bit difficult for you if your commitment history hasn't been too stellar; easier for those who have a good track-record.  Regardless, learn from the past and move into your future.  Here we go!

List some of the major things you've attempted in your life and what the outcome was.   Don't "edit" and leave out the failures - list everything.  The goal here is to see your actual commitment history, not the "polished" version.
Examples: education, career, business enterprises, family.  Here's where it's time to be brutally honest: write down how well you did on those endeavors.  Did you complete them?  Imagine it's a "Yes-or-No" question without space for explanations or excuses or blame-shifting.   

Tomorrow we'll imagine what the future might look like.  

DAY 12: "Are You Positive?"

ENGAGING THOUGHT

I am an unashamed optimist.  I can't help it - and even if I could - I don't want to change.  No one has ever given me a convincing reason to choose to see the negative side of things rather than the positive side.  To this day, Disney's Pollyanna is one of my favorite movies.  Pollyanna is a young girl who seems constitutionally incapable of dwelling on the negatives - no matter how nasty or unfortunate the circumstance or the person, she finds the tiniest glimmer of sunshine and latches onto that until everyone around her is forced to see that there is always hope, even in the midst of overwhelming darkness.

I believe that optimism is a choice that can lead to a habit, then become an outlook and finally, a lifestyle.  Cynics accuse we optimists of being "doe-eyed idealists" and "dreamers."  Amen.  I'd much rather be pegged as one who chooses to strive toward ideals and DREAMS than one who cowers in the corner.  Was that too harsh?  Should I be nicer to the critics?  In our culture we don't erect statues to critics, but we do for reformers.  Reformers, like optimists, recognize that not everything is perfect and wonderful, but fundamentally they believe it can be changed and improved.

So, where are you on this scale?  Is your default position one of optimism or pessimism?  Be honest.  Do you tend to pucker at the bitter unfairness of lemons, or do you immediately begin to taste the lemonade?  Our outlook has a way of becoming both self-feeding and addictive.  When we look for the positive and the encouraging elements in our lives we tend to notice them easily (and vice-versa).  We also begin to develop a "taste" for them - even a craving for them - so we seek them out, and guess what?  We find more positive things, which we take in, and then seek more...and more...and on and on and on.  It becomes a cycle of positivity and optimism.

So when and where did my optimism start?  Well, I've always been happy (remember my nick-name from Day 5, "Sunny-Billy") but I think it stems from a book I read and a sign I made in High School.  The book: in 10th grade I read a book by Zig Ziglar called See You at the Top.  It is corny and unashamedly super-positive (it's like a cheerleader hopped-up on ritalin and caffeine) - and I believed it.  I reread that book almost every year.  The sign: one evening I sat at the desk in my bedroom and made a little sign out of construction paper and white vinyl letters that said, "Go out there and succeed because I know that you can and will do it."  I hung that sign right over my light-switch so I'd see it every time I left my room.  I didn't take that sign down until I moved out of my parent's house.  I made the choice to believe that sign.  I still believe that sign.
       
Are you familiar with the concept of the self-fulfilling prophecy?  It's this: you will make a reality out of what you believe to be true about yourself and your future - otherwise you'd be proving yourself wrong.  If you believe you are a failure - you'll unknowingly do what it takes to prove yourself a failure (no matter how self-defeating and foolish that sounds).  The converse is also true, however: when we decide to see ourselves as successful - successfully pursuing and living God's DREAM for our lives - we will do whatever it takes to prove ourselves right!

"A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, but when the heart is sad the spirit is broken.  All the days of the afflicted are bad, But a cheerful heart has a continual feast" (Proverbs 15.13,15 NASB).

ACTION STEP

Today's ACTION STEP is your turn to be the total optimist!  Take 5 or 10 minutes and write out as many encouraging things about your DREAM that you can.  Be sappy, be goofy, be ridiculously superfluous in your verbosity (use lots of words) - whatever it takes to make you feel somewhat foolish.  You'll be smiling all day as you think of new ways to encourage yourself - write them down as well.

TIP: This step will prove to be truly invaluable to you right around Day 42, trust me!  Every bit of effort you put into this one now will pay off big later.

Tomorrow we'll see how to leverage off of or away from some past tendencies.  

DAY 11: "Playing the Pessimist"

ENGAGING THOUGHT

A.A. Milne created so many timeless, beloved characters in the tales of Winnie the Pooh and his woodland friends.  There's Pooh with his refreshing naivete; Tigger and his boundless energy; Piglet's devoted loyalty; Rabbit's good-natured cantankerousness; and then there's good ol' Eeyore.  Eeyore, the lovable pessimistic donkey.  Nothing ever goes quite right for him...which is fine...he doesn't really expect it to, anyways.  "Not that it really matters much."  In all the magical tales, Eeyore is the one who can be counted on to find the grey cloud for every silver lining!  Charmingly cute.

In real life that person sucks!  No one likes them.  No one wants to be around them.  No one wants to invite them to the party because they might actually come!  You know who they are and you're already picturing them in your mind's eye, aren't you?  They are the pessimists.  The critics.  The "I'm-only-telling-you-because-I-love-you" people.  They believe they're doing everyone a favor by being "honest."  Well, they aren't helping everyone, they're just dragging everyone down to their level of misery.  They are everywhere.  They are obnoxious.  They are waiting to pounce on your DREAM like sharks smelling blood in the water.

They are also very predictable.  Pessimists cannot stand it when someone decides to take ownership and action and move forward in life.  We could spend hours and hours trying to dissect their complex psychological make-up in an attempt to discover what it is that drives them to tear everything down, and we'll still not figure them out (and if we did, they'd just say we were wrong!).  There's an old adage that says, "forewarned is fore-armed."  Basically it means that for you, since you know they're going to try to kill your enthusiasm as you pursue God's DREAM, you can anticipate their attacks and be ready for them.

You really shouldn't be surprised when they think pursuing God's DREAM is silly or pointless.  You shouldn't be caught-off-guard when they highlight all the ways your DREAM is stupid or foolish or selfish.  When they "do you the favor" of being "honest and real" just smile, thank them for their concern, and as soon as possible forget everything they said to you!  Pessimists have nothing of value to say because they aren't really looking for ways to help, they're looking for ways to keep everyone else living in the same cess-pool of misery and negativity that they've resigned themselves to.

Let's be fair to the pessimists - I'm not advocating for you to be mean to them in any way.  It's a general rule that hurt-people hurt people (reread that slowly until you get it).  They are obviously victims of something that has caused them to become bitter and cynical.  We should have compassion on them and, when appropriate, reach out to see if we can lift them out of their doldrums and into the sunshine - but that probably isn't right now for you.  If you're just now getting a grip onto the side of the lifeboat - don't try to grab the person who wants to drown.  After you're securely in the boat, then you can throw them the rope and try to convince them that its worth grabbing.  For now, just let them be who they are and not give them any power over your resolve to pursue God's DREAM for your life.

"Glory in His holy name; Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad" (Psalm 105.3).

ACTION STEP

For today's ACTION STEP you get to act like a real jerk!  Look for the weaknesses in your DREAM and point them out; try to shoot holes in the whole thing.  Don't back off, and don't be nice.  You can count on the critics around you to be brutal,  so get used to it.  Besides, you know you've already given some of these thoughts room to hang out inside, haven't you? 

Write down all the negative things you can think of about your DREAM.

TIP: If you need help getting started you can pretend to be someone specific that has a tendency to be negative.  A nagging in-law, a cranky co-worker, horrible neighbor, or whoever it is that you can always count on to have nothing nice to say.  You can hear their voice right now in your head, can't you?   
Start writing.
 

Tomorrow we'll take a look at the other side of this coin.

DAY 10: "Write It Out"

ENGAGING THOUGHT

How many times each day do you think you dismiss a thought?  Whether it's the random, "What would it be like to live underwater?" questions, or the "How many years would they lock me up if I removed the noisy-neighbor once-and-for-all?" type of musings, I'd bet we dismiss more thoughts than we actually hold onto.  That's both the beauty of our minds: we can contemplate, formulate, hypothesize, evaluate, and try-out literally billions of thoughts without ever committing to any of them.  That's also a potential downside, however.  As long as we're leaving those things bouncing around inside our minds they don't really exist.  Our thoughts are just abstractions: reflections upon our real (or imaginary) world.

WARNING: You are about to pass a point-of-no-return with the DREAM.  If you continue on past this point you will be committing yourself to some course of action.  This is the point that most people simply do not have the courage to get past and so do not fully realize God's DREAM for their lives.  DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THE SIMPLICITY OF THIS STEP!!!

We're not interested in abstractions, though, when it comes to pursuing and living God's DREAM for our lives.  We're wanting more than just the thoughts of living His DREAM - we want the reality of it.  That means at some point we must get serious about this DREAM business, leave the abstract thinking/pondering/wondering stage and see if this thing can really fly!  You are at that point now in the 60 Days of Dreaming Challenge - time to move past the comfort-zone of easily-dismissed-thoughts and make the DREAM a concrete reality.  How?  Easy.

Write it down.  This simple task has HUGE impact upon your level of engagement with the DREAM.  When the DREAM is rattling around inside your head it really is no different than any other random thought: easily dismissed.  The moment you grab the pen or pencil and translate the thought or DREAM onto paper is the moment it now exists in concrete reality.  There it is sitting on the paper, staring back at you, saying, "Okay, here I am.  What will you do with me now?"  You can no longer dismiss it or be distracted from it - you must do something with that piece of paper.  You must make a choice about it.  You can crumple it up and toss it in the trash; you could carefully fold it up and tuck it away in a drawer, rediscovering it every 10 or 15 years like an old High School Yearbook, sighing and saying, "If only..."; you might post it on the bathroom mirror so that it's the first thing you see every morning; maybe stick it on the refrigerator door so that everyone in your family sees it.

See my point?  The one thing you cannot do with it at this point is just dismiss it as if it never existed.  That piece of paper with your roughly-shaped DREAM on it cannot be un-thought any longer.  Everything you do from this point on is now a decision that you are in control of; a choice that you are making in regards to the DREAM.  You can throw your journal into the fire and let it burn - you make that choice.  You can shelve it with all your other unfinished journals - you make that choice.  You can carry it with you as a reminder of the path you are on - you make that choice.  You can keep refining and honing and taking steps toward the fulfillment of the DREAM - you make that choice.

I like how God instructed Israel to erect a memorial when they crossed into the Promised Land   

"You shall write on these stones all the words of this law very distinctly" (Deuteronomy 27.8).

I won't go into all the Covenant specifications the stones contained, I want us to focus on the why of that action.  It was as if He was telling them that they had reached a point-of-no-return.  They had left their old life (Egypt) behind them, had followed God through the wilderness (purification along the way), and were now entering into His promise (DREAM).  We don't know, but I wonder how many times people were tempted to dismiss the memories and legends and return to Egypt - only to be stopped in their tracks by this massive stone monument with the recorded reality of their covenant relationship with God.  Staring them in the face, the written record of God's DREAM for them.  They could have banged their head against the stone - but it wouldn't have changed the reality.  You can't ignore the concrete.

ACTION STEP

Big surprise for today's ACTION STEP! You're going to write out the first draft of the DREAM.  I know, I know - it sounds like you're back in school and been given a homework assignment.  Sorry, but that's the next step forward.

TIPS: 

- Keep it simple and easily understandable (would a child be able to grasp what you are saying?); 

- Don't get hung-up on finding the perfect word or phrase, you'll have plenty of opportunities to tweak it later; 

- Try to state the DREAM in complete sentences;

Tomorrow we get to intentionally play the role of a pessimist (you're going to meet them eventually, may as well get a jump on them!). 

DAY 9: "Follow the Leading"

There are a few spots throughout the 60 Days of Dreaming when we'll intentionally stop so that we may listen carefully for God's direction and fine-tuning.  Today is the first of those.

ENGAGING THOUGHT

It may seem a bit odd to wait until Day 9 to listen for God's input.  There are two reasons we're doing that:

1) He hasn't really been silent or uninvolved this whole time.  I think sometimes in our Hollywood-and-Hallmark-saturated culture we expect that God only directs us through big, obvious signs, or that He only leads with long-strings of "coincidences."  His Holy Spirit has been leading you already through this process by guiding your thoughts and insights, leading you to unlock the layers of His DREAM you've discovered so far.

2) It is much easier to be redirected while in motion than it is to be directed from a stand-still.  Did you know that it's easy to redirect an NFL Linebacker...if he's already moving?  If he's got his 300+ pounds of meat and muscle planted firmly in place, forget it; but, if he's running toward you just step to the side and give him a nudge when he passes.  You may not knock him down, but you'll alter his trajectory a bit.  We're the same when it comes to forward motion in pursuit of the DREAM: as long as it's a "someday I'll do it" sort of thing, no amount of direction or instruction really helps get us up off our fat, lazy...apathy.  If we're already taking steps in pursuit of the DREAM, however, we're in a position to be easily guided wherever God wants us to go.

So, what about it?  Do you feel the Lord is giving you some instructions or directions as you seek to identify the DREAM?  How does He do that, you may ask?  Well, first off, let me say this: it seems God will defy any attempts to put Him in a box, so let's not be too quick to say how He must direct us or how He may not speak to us.  There are a few things we can be sure of, however: He will never speak or lead contrary to the truth in His Word, the Bible; His guidance is always for our best; He is more interested in the development of our character than He is the preservation of our comfort; His leadership will always move us into deeper relationship with Him.  There are far more insights we can make to the nature of His leading, but that will take an eternity to cover (perhaps, literally).

In Scripture we see the Holy Spirit lead people in a variety of ways: through written word; through circumstances; through impressions in the heart and mind; through an inner voice (or even an audible voice); through confirming circumstance or others who will confirm something we've been made aware of.  Paul wrote to the followers of Christ in the Greek city of Corinth about listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit:

"For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God.  For who among men know the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him?  Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God.  Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words.  But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised" (2 Corinthians 2.10-14 NASB).

There's a lot going on in that passage, but notice Paul's intent that we grasp this one fundamental reality: the methods the Holy Spirit employs to reveals to us what we need to know are different than how we normally become aware of things - they are spiritual.  That may not sound shocking, but how many times have you gotten frustrated because you felt God wasn't giving you the input you so desperately wanted?  Was that because you were listening to the wrong things (or listening for the wrong things, that's a whole different topic!).  Maybe this image will help: if you want to listen to the weather report on the radio, do you turn on the shower head?  Do you adjust the hot and cold water until you get the right radio station?  "That's ridiculous!," you say.  "One thing is designed for one purpose, the other is designed...for...Ohh, I see what you did there!" 

Our five senses (sight, smell, touch, taste, hearing) were designed to make us aware of our physical surroundings - and they do a pretty good job of it - but there is more to life than just physical surroundings, isn't there?  Should it really be a surprise to discover that God has also given us the resources to "notice" what's going on in our spiritual surroundings?   Is it shocking to think that He uses that particular means to communicate His most precious and important messages to us, His DREAMS for us?

ACTION STEP

DON'T SKIP THIS ONE!!!!! This ACTION STEP may be a difficult one for you depending on your familiarity (and comfort level) with spiritual things.  Some of this may be way outside your box, but truthfully, actively pursuing God's DREAM is probably way outside your box already, right? 

1) You'll want to do something that shuts-out the rest of the world a bit: go to a secluded space, turn off the phone, duct-tape the kids' mouths (that was a joke!).  The point is you need to be able to quiet the usual parade of distractions.

2) Sit still and ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you about His DREAM for your life.  Ask Him to give you clear thoughts and impressions, maybe even visual images in your mind.  I have found that if you ask a specific question He tends to give a specific answer.

3) Take a few moments to write down what you feel you should write down; what are the thoughts that seem most pressing or most vital.  Don't worry about it making sense or forming complete sentences. Just write!

4) Set this aside for a while (several hours, maybe) and return to it to see if some of the things you've written make more sense or have taken on a "depth" to them (I wish I had a better word for that, but you'll know what I mean when you see it).

ALTERNATE: This one's waaaayyy out there for some but might be more effective depending on how gutsy you are.

1) Use a blank sheet of paper;

2) Write at the top, "What is my true purpose in life?"

3) Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head.  Again, don't worry about complete sentences.

4) Keep writing out answers until you write the one(s) that cause you to start crying (Yep, you read that right).

The point is that you start tapping into a part of you that is very different than your norm. It will probably take you a while to get past all the surface answers before you start getting deeper.  That's okay, keep writing.

5) Follow Step 4 (setting it aside) in the above ACTION STEP

Tomorrow is a true point-of-no-return: when the DREAM becomes real.  

DAY 8: "Is it Short-term or Life-long?"

ENGAGING THOUGHT

Several years ago, a Seattle-area TV station aired a series on the Washington State Lottery.  Each evening they'd highlight one aspect of the lottery, it's promised revenue-stream (which for some reason didn't work out as promised - shocking!), and it's winners.  The most memorable episode detailed the before-and-after stories of the big-winners ($1 million+, if I recall).  Not surprisingly, almost all of them were worse off after winning than they were before.  The moral of the story: instant financial success wasn't all they dreamed it would be.  My point in sharing this story: don't confuse a short-term accomplishment with a life-long DREAM. 

A common mistake we make when it comes to God's DREAM is mistakenly identifying goals as dreams.  Think of it in these terms: God's DREAM has more in common with the Starting-Blocks in a race than it does with the Finish-Line.  Don't push that illustration too far and assume that life doesn't really begin until we fulfill God's DREAM, rather, it's that so many of us see the DREAM as the end of the race - the FINISH-LINE.  Nope.  Maye it would be better if I said, "God's DREAM for your life is the entire race."  Which (coincidentally enough) is another one of the markers helping us to identify God's DREAM for our lives.

As you're attempting to clearly define what God's DREAM is for your life it's vital that you keep in mind the last word of that statement: life.  Not episode or chapter.  Not phase or season.  God's DREAM for your life isn't about pushing toward a great moment when you throw your hands up in triumph, break through the tape amidst the applause of the crowd and your adoring fans, yelling out at the tops of your lungs, "Yes!  I did it!"  If that were all it was about, how do you follow up on that?  What happens next?

I'll let you in on a secret: I don't use the word accomplish in reference to God's DREAM because we don't accomplish His DREAM - we live His DREAM.  Goals can be accomplished; DREAMS are lived.  Goals are short-term; DREAMS are life-long.  God's DREAM for you will have many short-term accomplishments involved (i.e. education, practical experiences, milestones along the way, etc.) that take on the form of goals you will work toward.  His DREAM, however, is more than just the sum of those parts and points toward a life lived fully as He designed.  I had a discussion about dreams with a group of pastors one day and I asked one of them (a friend of mine) what his dream was.  His reply, "To pay off my son's college."  Sounds noble, I guess, but it saddened me.  Why?  Because there will come a day when he will send off that final tuition-check or payment to Sallie Mae...then what?  Will all these years have been spent for that single moment?

There's a reason we do this, of course.  I think it stems from the fact that a goal is measurable...quantifiable...controllable.  Let's admit this: daily life can get tedious and monotonous sometimes.  We need milestones to break up the monotony; we need "wins" along the way to remind us why we're striving at all.  I don't have a problem with that.  However, if all we're doing is striving toward the next goal, how do we know the goals are accomplishing anything of value?  I know I'm likely to make a bunch of enemies on this example, but hopefully you'll hear my heart: it's like professional sports.  What do professional sports actually accomplish?  I understand collegiate sports...and intramural sports...and little league, even adult sports leagues.  Tremendously valuable, life-long lessons can be learned when children and young people participate in athletics (teamwork, discipline, dedication, etc.).  Fine.  But, adults being paid to put a ball in a hoop or a hole?  What exactly hangs in the balance there?  What if I put it this way: If a professional basketball game were to never be played again, would anything about life be fundamentally altered?  That's an extreme example of what happens when we allow goals (or "wins") to be the end-all, be-all of our pursuit; when goals are detached from real purpose.

God's DREAM for your life contains the fullest expression of how He made you and the fulfillment of the reason He made you.  We fulfill it in the discovery, pursuit, and living of it.  His DREAM is life-long for you. 

"Hope deferred makes the heart grow sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life" (Proverbs 13.12).

ACTION STEP

For this next step in identifying God's DREAM for your life, take the "survivors" from yesterday's ACTION STEP and explore how they can become a life-long pursuit rather than a short-term goal.

EXAMPLE: "My dream is to have a retreat location: cabin in the woods, lake house, ski chalet, whatever."  Becomes: "My dream is to provide a location and opportunities to help others refresh and recharge."

Rewrite your dreams in a manner that can be a life-long pursuit.  If you simply can't do it - that's a pretty good sign that it isn't a God DREAM.  That doesn't mean it's a bad thing, maybe it's a goal along the way, maybe it's part of the process - just not the full DREAM.

Tomorrow we intentionally stop the process and take a listen for confirmation or redirection.  

DAY 7: "Who Benefits?"

No one likes to be the bad guy and tell someone they didn't make the team.  We're equally reluctant to cross dreams off a list.  We face this dilemma while in the process of discovering God's DREAM for us: at some point we have to start filtering out the ones that aren't going to make the cut - those parts of the DREAM that simply cannot come along for the ride.  Over the next few days we're going to do the hard work (gut-wrenching?) of dropping some things off at the side of the road and driving away from them.

ENGAGING THOUGHT

It seems that once we've broken through the barriers to engaging with God's DREAM for our lives (many of you can read that as "given ourselves permission to do so") we now face the somewhat daunting task of narrowing down the options, don't we?  It's like asking a five-year old what they want to do for their birthday party: once they realize they are the Supreme Giver-of-Ideas the list gets longer and longer and longer.  It may be fun to imagine an endless list of dream-possibilities but the fact remains that we have but one life to live, 24 hours in a day, and most of us only get 7 days in a week.  So some things have to get cut.
 
I've worked with young people for over 20 years and one drawback I've noticed to growing up in the land of opportunity is this: many tend to get what I call "option-paralysis."  As they begin to face the reality of graduating from high school and making choices about their future they can't decide which path to take - they all look so...possible.  Some of us might look at them and think (cynically), "Oh, poor things!  How horrible to have so many possibilities and options."  Whatever.  One of the questions these young people always ask in some form sounds like this, "What do I want to do for the rest of my life?"  Again, stop rolling your eyes - they haven't grasped yet that their life will have so many different chapters to it (you said the same things when you were their age, right?). 

My contention is this: we're effectively trained to ask the wrong question.  Instead of "what do I do with my life?" we should ask, "what should my life count for?"  I know, "pot-ay-to", "pot-aw-to" - but not really.  It's a question of legacy - and that is one of the markers of God's DREAM for our lives.  One of the earliest filtering-questions along the path of defining God's DREAM for your life has to be this one: Who benefits?  God's DREAMS for our lives are never just about our lives - He's waaaayyy more efficient than that, and we are far too interconnected to afford such near-sighted (and, frankly, self-centric) thinking.  Legacy is what we leave behind us, but not just "behind us" after our physical life has ended, rather, behind us as we walk through this life as well.  We leave our mark everywhere we go and upon every life we interact with.  That's part of God's plan for each of us.

Here's the bummer part: this question presumes that you're willing to lay aside selfishness and consider your life through the filter of "other-ness".  That's not something we naturally do, is it?  I have four kids that I think are awesome (they've had their moments as well, don't worry), but I never had to teach them selfishness - they were born masters of that trait (yes, they inherited it from their parents).  Bobbi and I have seen it as part of our duty as loving parents to lead them to grow outside of their own little universe and consider the needs of others and the ways God uses them to be a blessing to others.  Paul, the Apostle, had lots of time to contemplate God's DREAM for his life while he was languishing in a jail, awaiting his trial in Rome.  He wrote to his friends in Philippi on this very subject:

"For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain.  But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose.  But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is necessary for your sake.  Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you for your progress and joy in the faith..." (Philippians 1.21-25 NASB).

The chances are very slim that you will ever face that kind of choice because of your faith (Paul was facing execution, which he eventually received), but notice his awareness of the value and impact upon others because of his life.  That's the first true marker of God's DREAM for our lives.

“If your vision is for a year, plant wheat. If your vision is for a decade, plant trees. If your vision is for a lifetime, plant people."     (Chinese Proverb)

ACTION STEP

By now you're starting to develop hints of God's DREAM for you - maybe even several options or facets to the DREAM.  Take a moment and list them. 

Now ask the filtering question of each one: "Who benefits from me living this DREAM?"  

List the people (individuals or groups) that would directly benefit from you discovering, pursing, and living each dream you've listed.  

WARNING: Don't try to soften the emotional blow by leaving off the list those dreams that you know aren't of benefit to others.  They need to be included in the "try-outs" as well, especially if you've been carrying them around inside you.  Let them stand on their own merits and fall on their own weaknesses.  Trust me, you'll be glad later on when the wrong dreams try to reappear because they didn't get the memo during the first "cut."

Tomorrow we'll see how God's DREAMS for our lives are very different than goals or accomplishments.