ENGAGING THOUGHT
Growing up we had a Rec-room with a pool table in our basement. During the Winter months my friends and I would play for hours on end and we actually got pretty good for a bunch of kids. I like to think I was the best out of all of them (after all, it was my table, I had the advantage, right?), but, truthfully, we were probably equals. Except for Doug. Doug won almost every game he played, it seemed. It was frustrating, really, because even as a bunch of punk-kids, the rest of us realized that Doug wasn't the best player out of us all - he was the luckiest. In fact, I could (with integrity) say that Doug never beat me playing pool, but he always won. That alone would mean something...had we not kept a tally of wins and losses. But we did. Little hash-marks on a piece of paper tacked to the wall. Each of our names with wins marked underneath. No explanations; no excuses; no extenuating circumstances. Just marks.
Let's imagine there's a little piece of paper somewhere that has your name on it and underneath is a space for hash-marks indicating all the times you "won" - only not the games that you've won. This one records your accomplishments, your goals, your hopes and your dreams. It's a record of the things you started and finished. Is that a piece of paper you'd like to see? Perhaps it's a piece of paper you'd like to see...tossed into the fireplace! I'm not trying to dredge up past failures, however, it would be foolishly naive of us to think that our history of following through on commitments won't come to play somehow in the pursuit of God's DREAM.
Some people seem to be naturally inclined to successfully follow through on everything they attempt - like they have the golden touch. Others seem to have the opposite - everything they touch turns to dust and ashes. Most of us probably fall somewhere in between - some successes and some failures. A friend of mine once worked for a firm that did financial advising and he got to meet more than his fair-share of people on the brink of or in the throes of financial failure. He says it was heart-wrenching work helping people navigate through a mine-field of their own choices and consequences. One of his favorite statements to people, especially those who were facing total insolvency or bankruptcy, that brought healing to their heart and mind (didn't change the mathematics of their situation any) was this: Failure is an event, not a person.
I don't know what's on your imaginary record of wins, but I can imagine that some of you need to read that statement out loud to yourselves over and over again until it sinks in deep. Failure is an event, not a person. So you failed at something - maybe even lots of somethings - maybe even really big somethings. Do those failures define who you are as a person? Is a collection of failed attempts who you really are? I doubt that very much. I also know that God has a DREAM for your life - and no amount of failed attempts changes that fact. You can learn from your commitment history, notice the weak-spots or the patterns, and be smarter this time around.
For some this may be a moment to grow up. At the Olympics there is no room on the podium for "Those-who-could-have-won-if-only-so-and-so-wasn't-such-a-selfish-jerk." They don't give medals to excuse-makers. Or victims. I'm not being mean or cruel - I'm being frank and honest. Some people are truly the victims of a horrible circumstance or a frightening injustice - and they rise above those circumstances to move forward in their lives. Some choose to remain as victims, blaming whatever or whoever for all their failures. Not for a second am I diminishing the hurt and pain some endure, either through the consequences of their own choices or the unjust choices of others. Perhaps my friends statement from above, modified a bit, is just as true: Victimization is an event, not a person.
Many years ago I read an advice column in the newspaper and the columnist responded to an enquirer who asked for the definition of maturity. The columnist's answer resonates with me to this day, and I think it has tremendous impact upon how we choose to move forward in the pursuit of God's DREAM for our lives.
Let's imagine there's a little piece of paper somewhere that has your name on it and underneath is a space for hash-marks indicating all the times you "won" - only not the games that you've won. This one records your accomplishments, your goals, your hopes and your dreams. It's a record of the things you started and finished. Is that a piece of paper you'd like to see? Perhaps it's a piece of paper you'd like to see...tossed into the fireplace! I'm not trying to dredge up past failures, however, it would be foolishly naive of us to think that our history of following through on commitments won't come to play somehow in the pursuit of God's DREAM.
Some people seem to be naturally inclined to successfully follow through on everything they attempt - like they have the golden touch. Others seem to have the opposite - everything they touch turns to dust and ashes. Most of us probably fall somewhere in between - some successes and some failures. A friend of mine once worked for a firm that did financial advising and he got to meet more than his fair-share of people on the brink of or in the throes of financial failure. He says it was heart-wrenching work helping people navigate through a mine-field of their own choices and consequences. One of his favorite statements to people, especially those who were facing total insolvency or bankruptcy, that brought healing to their heart and mind (didn't change the mathematics of their situation any) was this: Failure is an event, not a person.
I don't know what's on your imaginary record of wins, but I can imagine that some of you need to read that statement out loud to yourselves over and over again until it sinks in deep. Failure is an event, not a person. So you failed at something - maybe even lots of somethings - maybe even really big somethings. Do those failures define who you are as a person? Is a collection of failed attempts who you really are? I doubt that very much. I also know that God has a DREAM for your life - and no amount of failed attempts changes that fact. You can learn from your commitment history, notice the weak-spots or the patterns, and be smarter this time around.
For some this may be a moment to grow up. At the Olympics there is no room on the podium for "Those-who-could-have-won-if-only-so-and-so-wasn't-such-a-selfish-jerk." They don't give medals to excuse-makers. Or victims. I'm not being mean or cruel - I'm being frank and honest. Some people are truly the victims of a horrible circumstance or a frightening injustice - and they rise above those circumstances to move forward in their lives. Some choose to remain as victims, blaming whatever or whoever for all their failures. Not for a second am I diminishing the hurt and pain some endure, either through the consequences of their own choices or the unjust choices of others. Perhaps my friends statement from above, modified a bit, is just as true: Victimization is an event, not a person.
Many years ago I read an advice column in the newspaper and the columnist responded to an enquirer who asked for the definition of maturity. The columnist's answer resonates with me to this day, and I think it has tremendous impact upon how we choose to move forward in the pursuit of God's DREAM for our lives.
"Maturity means no longer making excuses for the things one must do, and no longer doing the things for which one must make excuses."
ACTION STEP
Today's ACTION STEP might be a bit difficult for you if your commitment history hasn't been too stellar; easier for those who have a good track-record. Regardless, learn from the past and move into your future. Here we go!
List some of the major things you've attempted in your life and what the outcome was. Don't "edit" and leave out the failures - list everything. The goal here is to see your actual commitment history, not the "polished" version.
Examples: education, career, business enterprises, family. Here's where it's time to be brutally honest: write down how well you did on those endeavors. Did you complete them? Imagine it's a "Yes-or-No" question without space for explanations or excuses or blame-shifting.
List some of the major things you've attempted in your life and what the outcome was. Don't "edit" and leave out the failures - list everything. The goal here is to see your actual commitment history, not the "polished" version.
Examples: education, career, business enterprises, family. Here's where it's time to be brutally honest: write down how well you did on those endeavors. Did you complete them? Imagine it's a "Yes-or-No" question without space for explanations or excuses or blame-shifting.
Tomorrow we'll imagine what the future might look like.
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