DAY 7: "Who Benefits?"

No one likes to be the bad guy and tell someone they didn't make the team.  We're equally reluctant to cross dreams off a list.  We face this dilemma while in the process of discovering God's DREAM for us: at some point we have to start filtering out the ones that aren't going to make the cut - those parts of the DREAM that simply cannot come along for the ride.  Over the next few days we're going to do the hard work (gut-wrenching?) of dropping some things off at the side of the road and driving away from them.

ENGAGING THOUGHT

It seems that once we've broken through the barriers to engaging with God's DREAM for our lives (many of you can read that as "given ourselves permission to do so") we now face the somewhat daunting task of narrowing down the options, don't we?  It's like asking a five-year old what they want to do for their birthday party: once they realize they are the Supreme Giver-of-Ideas the list gets longer and longer and longer.  It may be fun to imagine an endless list of dream-possibilities but the fact remains that we have but one life to live, 24 hours in a day, and most of us only get 7 days in a week.  So some things have to get cut.
 
I've worked with young people for over 20 years and one drawback I've noticed to growing up in the land of opportunity is this: many tend to get what I call "option-paralysis."  As they begin to face the reality of graduating from high school and making choices about their future they can't decide which path to take - they all look so...possible.  Some of us might look at them and think (cynically), "Oh, poor things!  How horrible to have so many possibilities and options."  Whatever.  One of the questions these young people always ask in some form sounds like this, "What do I want to do for the rest of my life?"  Again, stop rolling your eyes - they haven't grasped yet that their life will have so many different chapters to it (you said the same things when you were their age, right?). 

My contention is this: we're effectively trained to ask the wrong question.  Instead of "what do I do with my life?" we should ask, "what should my life count for?"  I know, "pot-ay-to", "pot-aw-to" - but not really.  It's a question of legacy - and that is one of the markers of God's DREAM for our lives.  One of the earliest filtering-questions along the path of defining God's DREAM for your life has to be this one: Who benefits?  God's DREAMS for our lives are never just about our lives - He's waaaayyy more efficient than that, and we are far too interconnected to afford such near-sighted (and, frankly, self-centric) thinking.  Legacy is what we leave behind us, but not just "behind us" after our physical life has ended, rather, behind us as we walk through this life as well.  We leave our mark everywhere we go and upon every life we interact with.  That's part of God's plan for each of us.

Here's the bummer part: this question presumes that you're willing to lay aside selfishness and consider your life through the filter of "other-ness".  That's not something we naturally do, is it?  I have four kids that I think are awesome (they've had their moments as well, don't worry), but I never had to teach them selfishness - they were born masters of that trait (yes, they inherited it from their parents).  Bobbi and I have seen it as part of our duty as loving parents to lead them to grow outside of their own little universe and consider the needs of others and the ways God uses them to be a blessing to others.  Paul, the Apostle, had lots of time to contemplate God's DREAM for his life while he was languishing in a jail, awaiting his trial in Rome.  He wrote to his friends in Philippi on this very subject:

"For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain.  But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose.  But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is necessary for your sake.  Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you for your progress and joy in the faith..." (Philippians 1.21-25 NASB).

The chances are very slim that you will ever face that kind of choice because of your faith (Paul was facing execution, which he eventually received), but notice his awareness of the value and impact upon others because of his life.  That's the first true marker of God's DREAM for our lives.

“If your vision is for a year, plant wheat. If your vision is for a decade, plant trees. If your vision is for a lifetime, plant people."     (Chinese Proverb)

ACTION STEP

By now you're starting to develop hints of God's DREAM for you - maybe even several options or facets to the DREAM.  Take a moment and list them. 

Now ask the filtering question of each one: "Who benefits from me living this DREAM?"  

List the people (individuals or groups) that would directly benefit from you discovering, pursing, and living each dream you've listed.  

WARNING: Don't try to soften the emotional blow by leaving off the list those dreams that you know aren't of benefit to others.  They need to be included in the "try-outs" as well, especially if you've been carrying them around inside you.  Let them stand on their own merits and fall on their own weaknesses.  Trust me, you'll be glad later on when the wrong dreams try to reappear because they didn't get the memo during the first "cut."

Tomorrow we'll see how God's DREAMS for our lives are very different than goals or accomplishments.